The Artist in Me.

It's definitely true that I LOVE working on paintings and drawings. I want and need some classes to understand how to properly use the things I have. I'm decent with acrylics but my oil technique kinda stinks, my pastels are far worse, and I don't have the slightest clue about watercolors. Mom and dad got me a set of oils that is wonderful for Christmas along with some canvas boards and stretched canvases. I attempted to use them tonight and the product isn't perfect but isn't bad either. It's still in the works and has meaning to me. I have no idea what my type of art is, but if I had to pick I would say it's closest to surrealism. I don't really have confidence in my abilities but lately I have recieved some pretty nice compliments, first from my therapist and then from an acquaintance on facebook. It made me feel good and made the idea of someday getting to have a gallery show of my own a decent possibility. I think I just need to grow my own confidence and start feeling the part. I have decided to bring out the true me, who loves all things artistic. I even did a little nail art tonight and I am going to try a little harder with my hair on a daily basis as well. Let's see how this goes.

B

F for Frustration

Where is the Cleaver family these days? Old shows like that make families look so appealing. Real life is much more disturbing these days. Damn you perfect television families giving off the crazy, unrealistic idea that families can get along. My family doesn't know the term healthy relationships. My mother is the insane driving force behind everyone and since my mind is no longer susceptible to her brainwashing, I have stepped away from the norma and thus become the enemy. I have moved into my own place, pay my own bills, work at a great job, and am mostly happy. My family is what drives me to seek my own therapy. They drive me nuts. A simple lunch date with my dad turns into a screaming match outside of the newest (and busiest) restaurant in town. My mother act's like a petulant child whenever I am around. She screams at my puppy and calls him a pervert because he humps his toys like any dog does (including hers). She hates every gift I give her. It's funny that I am looking forward to my therapy. Thursday can't come fast enough. Christmas might put me in an institution if it keeps going this way.

Happy Tuesday ALL

B

A for Assertiveness

Today, is a day all about something that has never come easy to me. I have gotten the hang of it more so in the past year but in some areas (mom) there is still a lack of the great word, Assertiveness. I am excited about the prospects of the coming year simply because today marks a great change in my little world. Today I took ahold of my own life and decided to truly work through my issues. I'm still trying to decide about Christmas morning. However, considering the fact that my family has not talked to me about Christmas in ANY way...I think whatever my decision is will be fine. On a happy note, I can't wait to see Josh's family, my aunts uncles and cousins. I'm having a blast handmaking gifts, even if a certain girl's scarf isn't turning out so symmetrical.

Happy Friday!

B

Back to the Blogging World

Well, there has been many times where I have come and gone from the blogging world. I guess this means I'm back. There are a few differences in the me that has returned this time, which is why I chose a new blog instead of re-upping an old one.

1. I have an amazing boyfriend.

There is no more of that back and forth dating of new jerks. I have one person who has been in my life for nearly a year and a half. He's wonderful and inspiring. The most talented and kind person I know. Okay, moving away from the gushy stuff...

2. I have a wonderful job and a fantastic new place.

The apartment and everything in it is mine. I don't have to worry about anyone not letting me have something I need, like food....

3. I don't speak to my mother.

She's not what I thought she was and she hates me. At least she acts like it since I grew my own mind.

This is going to be a blog of soul-searching, crafting, art, and love.

Happy reading

B